Next Level BasicStassi Schroeder
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Next Level BasicStassi Schroeder
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER Discover how to embrace your best basic self in this laugh-out-loud funny guidebook from the breakout star of Bravo’s hit reality show Vanderpump Rules, perfect for fans of the relatable and entertaining books by The Betches and Andi Dorfman. Millions of Vanderpump Rules viewers and podcast listeners know Stassi Schroeder as a major defender of Basic Bitch rights. There’s nothing more boring than people who take themselves too seriously or think that you have to be pretentious to be cool. Stassi champions the things that many of us are afraid to love publicly for fear of being labeled basic: lattes, pugs, bubbly cocktails, millennial pink, #OOTD (outfit of the day, obvs), astrology, hot dogs, the perfect pair of Louboutins, romantic comedies...the list goes on and on. This book is for people tired of pretending they would rather see a Daniel Day-Lewis movie about sewing or read War and Peace than watch a Saw marathon or read...well, this book! In Next Level Basic, the reality star, podcast queen, and ranch dressing expert gives you hilarious and pointed lessons on how to have fun and celebrate yourself, with exclusive stories from her own life and on the set of Vanderpump Rules . From her very public breakups to her most intimate details about her plastic surgery, Stassi shares her own personal experiences with her trademark honesty—all with the hope you can learn something from them.
Will Not AttendAdam Resnick
“Damn, this book is good.” — Jon Stewart “A biting, darkly hilarious collection of personal essays that begs to be read aloud.”— Chicago Tribune Emmy Award–winning writer Adam Resnick began his career at Late Night with David Letterman before honing his chops in movies and cable television, including HBO’s The Larry Sanders Show . While courageously admitting to being “euphorically antisocial,” Resnick plunges readers deep into his troubled psyche in this uproarious memoir-in-essays. Shaped by such touchstone events as a traumatic Easter egg hunt and overwrought by obsessions, he refuses to be burdened by chores like basic social obligation and personal growth, adhering to his own steadfast rule: “I refuse to do anything I don’t want to do.”
The Last Black UnicornTiffany Haddish
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “An inspiring story that manages to be painful, honest, shocking, bawdy and hilarious.” —The New York Times Book Review From stand-up comedian, actress, and breakout star of Girls Trip , Tiffany Haddish, comes The Last Black Unicorn , a sidesplitting, hysterical, edgy, and unflinching collection of ( extremely ) personal essays, as fearless as the author herself. Growing up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of South Central Los Angeles, Tiffany learned to survive by making people laugh. If she could do that, then her classmates would let her copy their homework, the other foster kids she lived with wouldn’t beat her up, and she might even get a boyfriend. Or at least she could make enough money—as the paid school mascot and in-demand Bar Mitzvah hype woman—to get her hair and nails done, so then she might get a boyfriend. None of that worked (and she’s still single), but it allowed Tiffany to imagine a place for herself where she could do something she loved for a living: comedy. Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others. By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.
David Sedaris returns with his most deeply personal and darkly hilarious book. If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future. This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. Calypso is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.
Yes PleaseAmy Poehler
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Do you want to get to know the woman we first came to love on Comedy Central's Upright Citizens Brigade? Do you want to spend some time with the lady who made you howl with laughter on Saturday Night Live, and in movies like Baby Mama, Blades of Glory, and They Came Together? Do you find yourself daydreaming about hanging out with the actor behind the brilliant Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation? Did you wish you were in the audience at the last two Golden Globes ceremonies, so you could bask in the hilarity of Amy's one-liners? If your answer to these questions is "Yes Please!" then you are in luck. In her first book, one of our most beloved funny folk delivers a smart, pointed, and ultimately inspirational read. Full of the comedic skill that makes us all love Amy, Yes Please is a rich and varied collection of stories, lists, poetry (Plastic Surgery Haiku, to be specific), photographs, mantras and advice. With chapters like "Treat Your Career Like a Bad Boyfriend," "Plain Girl Versus the Demon" and "The Robots Will Kill Us All" Yes Please will make you think as much as it will make you laugh. Honest, personal, real, and righteous, Yes Please is full of words to live by.
Me Talk Pretty One DayDavid Sedaris
A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked
Gross AnatomyMara Altman
An honest, funny, neurotic, and totally gross love child of Mindy Kaling and Mary Roach. Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting and sometimes smelly revelations that constitute Gross Anatomy , an essay collection about what it's like to operate the bags of meat we call our bodies. Divided into two sections, "The Top Half" and "The Bottom Half," with cartoons scattered throughout, Altman's book takes the reader on a wild and relatable journey from head to toe--as she attempts to strike up a peace accord with our grody bits. With a combination of personal anecdotes and fascinating research, Gross Anatomy holds up a magnifying glass to our beliefs, practices, biases, and body parts and shows us the naked truth: that there is greatness in our grossness.
The Five Jerks You Meet on EarthRay Zardetto
Ever wish that in the afterlife you'll be able to exact revenge on the people who made your life so miserable? The Five Jerks You Meet on Earth takes on that sidesplitting premise. Loser Al Mitchell finally gets a chance to win-even though he's dead. Al Mitchell is middle-aged, divorced, childless, balding, unemployed, stoop-shouldered, and dead--but these are the least of his problems. When Mitchell dies in a chaotic merry-go-round wreck, he goes to Heaven hoping to discover the meaning of his sad-sack life by meeting the five most influential people he's known. But too bad they're busy meeting with more important people! In their place, Al meets his grade school lunch lady, family plumber, and a hairdresser who turned down all of his romantic advances. So much for peace in the afterlife! Intent to make amends, Heaven's powers-that-be allow Mitchell to return to Earth (with help from a bumbling angel named Adrian) to achieve a goal even better than enlightenment. He gets to exact revenge on the five jerks who made his life so miserable! Ray Zardetto's The Five Jerks You Meet on Earth hilariously--but respectfully--parodies Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven . It turns the premise of that inspiring best-seller on its head--and it speaks to the avenging loser in all of us! For more about the book visit www.thefivejerksyoumeetonearth.com
Lessons From LucyDave Barry
In this “little gem” ( Washington Independent Review of Books), Pulitzer Prize–winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy—not happily—he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world’s oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it’s okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons from Lucy shows readers a new side to Dave Barry that’s “touching and sentimental, but there’s still a laugh on every page” ( Sacramento Bee) . The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.
Bossypants (Enhanced Edition)Tina Fey
Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock , Mean Girls , and SNL ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. ( Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake! )
In Naked, David Sedaris's message alternately rendered in Fakespeare, Italian, Spanish, and pidgin Greek is the same: pay attention to me. Whether he's taking to the road with a thieving quadriplegic, sorting out the fancy from the extra-fancy in a bleak fruit-packing factory, or celebrating Christmas in the company of a recently paroled prostitute, this collection of memoirs creates a wickedly incisive portrait of an all-too-familiar world. It takes Sedaris from his humiliating bout with obsessive behavior in A Plague of Tics to the title story, where he is finally forced to face his naked self in the mirrored sunglasses of a lunatic. At this soulful and moving moment, he picks potato chip crumbs from his pubic hair and wonders what it all means. This remarkable journey into his own life follows a path of self-effacement and a lifelong search for identity, leaving him both under suspicion and overdressed.
#IMomSoHardKristin Hensley & Jen Smedley
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Has it been months since you’ve read a book with actual adult words that had nothing to do with farm animals or superheroes or going potty? Well then, it’s time to take a break. Pour yourself some wine. Put on your comfy pants. All good? Ok, welcome to the party. Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the creators of #IMOMSOHARD, know that you probably didn’t get to shower today and that the last thing you need is more advice on how to be a better parent. Instead, they invite you to join their laugh-out-loud, best friend banter on the eighty bajillion ways moms give their all every day—including: I KEEP IT TOGETHER SO HARD I BODY AFTER BABY SO HARD I HIT THE TOWN (AND AM IN BED BY 9:30 P.M.) SO HARD I BUST MY ASS SO HARD I KEEP FOOLS ALIVE SO HARD Come for the laughs, stay for the kinship with two friends who are just getting it right, getting it wrong, and leaning on each other for a laugh at the end of the day. They don’t care if your house is a mess and they won’t judge you if you pee a little when you sneeze. So kick back, relax, and enjoy. You deserve it.
Modern RomanceAziz Ansari
A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s most popular and sharpest comedic voices At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated? Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate. For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance , the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before. In Modern Romance , Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.
Paddle Your Own CanoeNick Offerman
Parks and Recreation actor and Making It co-host Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in this New York Times bestseller. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman—who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation ’s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking—he runs his own woodshop— Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois—“I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield”—to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.
Life of the PartyBert Kreischer
A collection of outrageous stories by the standup comic, TV host, and inspiration for the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country. The stories Kreischer shares in Life of the Party are a guidebook on how not to grow up. From his fraternity days at Florida State University, to his rise as a standup, to his marriage and first brushes with fatherhood, Kreischer shows you a path that may not lead you to maturity or personal growth. But it will lead you to a shitload of fun.
I Like You Just the Way I AmJenny Mollen
A New York Times Best Seller! By the actress, writer, and one of the funniest women on Twitter, an outrageous, hysterical memoir of acting on impulse, plotting elaborate hoaxes, and refusing to acknowledge boundaries in any form Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free s**t and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved—by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc. Some people might call that impulse crazy, but isn't "crazy" really just a word boring people use to describe fun people? (And Jenny is really, really fun, you guys!) In these pages, you'll find stories of Jenny at her most genuine, whether it's stalking her therapist (because he knows everything about her so shouldn't she get to know everything about him?); throwing a bachelorette party so bad that one of the guests is suspected dead; or answering the eternal question, Would your best friend blow your husband on a car ride to dinner if she didn't know you were hiding in the backseat? I Like You Just the Way I Am is about not doing the right thing—about indulging your inner crazy-person. It is Jenny when she's not trying to impress anyone or come across as a responsible, level-headed member of society. With any luck it will make you better acquainted with who you really are and what you really want. Which, let's be honest, is most likely someone else's email password.
I Hope They Serve Beer in HellTucker Max
My name is Tucker Max, and I am an a*****e. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging d******d. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?" "Thank you, thank you, thank you--for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'--and I do it, and I am a better man for it." "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you." "You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and DenimDavid Sedaris
David Sedaris plays in the snow with his sisters. He goes on vacation with his family. He gets a job selling drinks. He attends his brother's wedding. He mops his sister's floor. He gives directions to a lost traveler. He eats a hamburger. He has his blood sugar tested. It all sounds so normal, doesn't it? In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives -- a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?” Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly! In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.
Good Clean FunNick Offerman
After two New York Times bestsellers, Nick Offerman—woodworker, actor, comedian, and co-host of NBC’s crafting competition series Making It —returns with the subject for which he’s known best—his incredible real-life woodshop. Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-god hard day’s work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff—kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, mustache combs, even cedar-strip canoes. Now Nick and his ragtag crew of champions want to share their experience of working at the Woodshop, tell you all about their passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teach you how to make a handful of their most popular projects along the way. This book takes readers behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching them to make their own projects and besotting them with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves. In these pages you will find a variety of projects for every skill level, with personal, easy-to-follow instructions by the OWS woodworkers themselves; and, what’s more, this tutelage is augmented by mouth-watering color photos (Nick calls it "wood porn"). You will also find writings by Nick, offering recipes for both comestibles and mirth, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery. Whether you’ve been working in your own shop for years, or if holding this stack of compressed wood pulp is as close as you’ve ever come to milling lumber, or even if you just love Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom, you’ll find Good Clean Fun full of useful, illuminating, and entertaining information.
The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human HappinessPaula Poundstone
“A remarkable journey. I laughed. I cried. I got another cat.” —Lily Tomlin “Paula Poundstone is the funniest human being I have ever known.” —Peter Sagal, host of Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! and author of The Book of Vice “Is there a secret to happiness?” asks comedian Paula Poundstone. "I don’t know how or why anyone would keep it a secret. It seems rather cruel, really . . . Where could it be? Is it deceptively simple? Does it melt at a certain temperature? Can you buy it? Must you suffer for it before or after?” In her wildly and wisely observed book, the comedy legend takes on that most inalienable of rights—the pursuit of happiness. Offering herself up as a human guinea pig in a series of thoroughly unscientific experiments, Poundstone tries out a different get-happy hypothesis in each chapter of her data-driven search. She gets in shape with taekwondo. She drives fast behind the wheel of a Lamborghini. She communes with nature while camping with her daughter, and commits to getting her house organized (twice!). Swing dancing? Meditation? Volunteering? Does any of it bring her happiness? You may be laughing too hard to care. The Totally Unscientific Study of the Search for Human Happiness is both a story of jumping into new experiences with both feet and a surprisingly poignant tale of a single working mother of three children (not to mention dozens of cats, a dog, a bearded dragon lizard, a lop-eared bunny, and one ant left from her ant farm) who is just trying to keep smiling while living a busy life. The queen of the skepticism-fueled rant, Paula Poundstone stands alone in her talent for bursting bubbles and slaying sacred cows. Like George Carlin, Steve Martin, and David Sedaris, she is a master of her craft, and her comedic brilliance is served up in abundance in this book. As author and humorist Roy Blount Jr. notes, “Paula Poundstone deserves to be happy. Nobody deserves to be this funny.”
Girl LogicIliza Shlesinger & Mayim Bialik
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on the secret genius of irrational behavior. Have you ever been pissed because you're not pretty enough, and then gotten even more pissed that someone didn't find you as pretty as you think you are? Have you ever obsessed over the size of your thighs while eating dessert, all the while saying you'll work out extra tomorrow? Or spent endless hours wondering why you have to bear the brunt of other people's insecurities? I mean, after all, I'm pretty great. Why cope with insecurities I don't already have? That last one's just me? All right, then. But if the rest sounds familiar, you are experiencing Girl Logic: a characteristically female way of thinking that appears contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world. You end up considering every repercussion of every choice (about dating, career, clothes, lunch) before making a move toward what you really want. And why do we attempt these mental hurdles? Well, that's what this book is all about. The fact is, whether you're obsessing over his last text or the most important meeting of your career, your Girl Logic serves a purpose: It helps push you, question what you want, and clarify what will make you a happier, better person. Girl Logic can be every confident woman's secret weapon, and this book shows you how to wield it.
Theft by FindingDavid Sedaris
One of the most anticipated books of 2017: Boston Globe, New York Times Book Review , New York 's "Vulture", The Week , Bustle, BookRiot An NPR Best Book of 2017 An AV Club Favorite Book of 2017 A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2017A Goodreads Choice Awards nominee David Sedaris tells all in a book that is, literally, a lifetime in the making. For forty years, David Sedaris has kept a diary in which he records everything that captures his attention-overheard comments, salacious gossip, soap opera plot twists, secrets confided by total strangers. These observations are the source code for his finest work, and through them he has honed his cunning, surprising sentences. Now, Sedaris shares his private writings with the world. Theft by Finding , the first of two volumes, is the story of how a drug-abusing dropout with a weakness for the International House of Pancakes and a chronic inability to hold down a real job became one of the funniest people on the planet. Written with a sharp eye and ear for the bizarre, the beautiful, and the uncomfortable, and with a generosity of spirit that even a misanthropic sense of humor can't fully disguise, Theft By Finding proves that Sedaris is one of our great modern observers. It's a potent reminder that when you're as perceptive and curious as Sedaris, there's no such thing as a boring day.
The Modern Depression GuidebookDylan Brody
This is the opposite of a self-help book. From humorist and story-teller Dylan Brody comes a masterful parody of the self-help book, promising not to help you out of your depression, but rather to sink you deeper into it. Mr. Brody promises to help you commit to your depression getting the deepest possible lows, the darkest possible blues.
Holidays on IceDavid Sedaris
David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey"). No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" ( ).
Food: A Love StoryJim Gaffigan
“What are my qualifications to write this book? None really. So why should you read it? Here’s why: I’m a little fat. If a thin guy were to write about a love of food and eating I’d highly recommend that you do not read his book.” Bacon. McDonalds. Cinnabon. Hot Pockets. Kale. Stand-up comedian and author Jim Gaffigan has made his career rhapsodizing over the most treasured dishes of the American diet (“choking on bacon is like getting murdered by your lover”) and decrying the worst offenders (“kale is the early morning of foods”). Fans flocked to his New York Times bestselling book Dad is Fat to hear him riff on fatherhood but now, in his second book, he will give them what they really crave—hundreds of pages of his thoughts on all things culinary(ish). Insights such as: why he believes coconut water was invented to get people to stop drinking coconut water, why pretzel bread is #3 on his most important inventions of humankind (behind the wheel and the computer), and the answer to the age-old question “which animal is more delicious: the pig, the cow, or the bacon cheeseburger?”
Dad Is FatJim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so hes' now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint! This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted. The Punch List: Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you. The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton…"? The martyrs. You get sick days—use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important. Advance Praise for Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: "I'm grateful to all of the people Jen Mann writes about in this book—the condescending managers, undermining editors, the plastic surgeon who helpfully offered free operations during a job interview, and the boss who fired her with a Post-It Note—because they made her into the rage-filled writer we all know and love." - Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids "I connected with Jen Mann's book more deeply than I'm comfortable with. It was brilliant and gross and hilarious and heartwarming and then hilarious again. I literally couldn't put it down. For what it's worth, the only book before this one that I read in one sitting without a break was Dances with Wolves. Don't judge me." - James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
The Death of CoolGavin McInnes
Though technically a memoir, this is more a compendium of hair-whitening bar stories that punch you in the throat until your eyes explode. Many people have watched their friends die and some have been to jail. There are those who have stepped in the ring with professional fighters and been beaten within an inch of their lives. Others have created media empires. Very few have done all this and embarrassed dozens of celebrities; enjoyed more than a couple of threesomes; brought the world “Warhol’s Children”; consistently attracted a million views with viral comedy videos; said, “Jesus is gay,” on national television; and made two American Indians from scratch. There certainly isn’t anyone with this kind of life experience who can convey each tale in such a hilarious and endearing way. Whether he’s watching his friend get decapitated on acid or snorting cocaine off women’s breasts, McInnes only ever has one priority: maximum laughs. He’s not here to tell you how wise his father is or how hard it was to achieve his success. He’s here to make you laugh so hard, you puke. That’s it.
They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?Patrick F. McManus
With tongue pressed firmly in cheek and a gentle but penetrating eye for human foibles, Patrick F. McManus celebrates the hidden pleasures, unappreciated lore, and opportunities for disaster to be found in the recreations of camping, hunting, and fishing in his hilarious collection They Shoot Canoes, Don’t They ? Gathered here for the reader’s edification are such treasures as the true but little known story of the discovery of the efficacy of live bait by Genghis Khan’s chef, an examination of the precarious and perhaps fanatical expertise required for ice fishing, and a consideration of the circumstances that can cause a deer to ride a bicycle. Among additional topics explored are The Crouch Hop and Other Useful Outdoor Steps, The Sensuous Angler, and Psychic Powers for Outdoorsmen. Included, too, is The Hunter’s Dictionary, an invaluable lexicon that helps the novice sportsman understand such arcane terminology as “Ooooooeee-ah-ah-ah! (If there’s one thing I hate, it’s putting on cold, wet pants in the morning)” and “Baff mast pime ig bead feas mid miff pife! (That’s the last time I try to eat peas in the dark with my hunting knife!)” The author’s appreciation of outdoor life began in his early boyhood, when he absorbed a wealth of improbable information imparted by the old woodsman Rancid Crabtree, “who bathed only on leap years.” Young McManus also enjoyed special adventures with his ill-remembered sidekick, Retch Sweeney, and another boon companion of days gone by, the loquacious family dog, Strange, whose exploits as a hunter were limited to assaulting stray chickens and on one memorable occasion a skunk. “McManus here follows up A Fine and Pleasant Misery with a collection of sketches that launches him into the front ranks of outdoor humorists.”— Library Journal
Bless Your Heart, TrampCelia Rivenbark
From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress). Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else. Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp .
The Darwin AwardsWendy Northcutt
The hilarious New York Times bestselling phenomenon and the perfect funny gift! The Darwin Awards shares the stories of those human beings who improve the gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion. Marvel at the thief who tries to steal live electrical wires. Gape at the lawnchair jockey who floats to a height of 16,000 feet suspended by helium balloons. And learn from the man who peers into a gasoline can using a cigarette lighter. All contend for Darwin Awards when their choices culminate in magnificent misadventures. These tales of trial and awe-inspiring error-verified by the author and endorsed by website readers-illustrate the ongoing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory. The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the finest examples of evolution in action, and shows us just how uncommon common sense can be.
Rick & Morty #6Zac Gorman
Nick and Paul hastily flee a shootout, leaving with their footage and a mysterious USB drive taken off a gang member. They quickly get pulled over by the cops, and Nick suspects something wrong is happening… why are the cops interested in them now, when they’ve been at countless shootouts before? Paul disagrees, but Nick is the one behind the wheel, which means that a high-speed chase through LAX is going to happen whether Paul likes it or not. But dodging the police doesn’t mean they’re out of danger… not when they’ve also royally ticked off a rival stringer.
Bloom County - The Complete Library, Vol. 7: 1987Berkeley Breathed
Specially formatted digital edition! Collecting every strip from January 1, 1987, through December 31, 1987, in chronological order, with a new cover insert by Breathed. Berkeley Breathed’s Bloom County burst onto the American comic scene in December 1980 and it soon became one of the most popular comic strips of all time. The endearing and quirky denizens of the strip included Milo Bloom, Steve Dallas, Michael Binkley, Cutter John, Bill the Cat, and Opus the Penguin. Bloom County was a strip that dealt with many issues relevant to the period. Occasional “Context comments” are added throughout this collection, giving the reader a greater understanding of the time. This is the first time Bloom County has been collected in a digital library. IDW will add more volumes, one year per volume. Each newspaper strip is reproduced in chronological order from first to last. Great effort has been made to ensure the highest production values are achieved.
Rick & Morty #7Zac Gorman
When a transdimensional virus begins eradicating all the Ricks from across the multiverse, our Rick must go into hiding in the only reality where he’s safe from detection…Universe 304, the Rickless Universe.
What Would Machiavelli Do?Stanley Bing
What Would Machiavelli Do? He would feast on other people's discord He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, eitherHe would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorryHe would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterwardHe would establish and maintain a psychotic level of controlHe would use other people's opinions to sell his book!
I'm Sorry...Love, Your HusbandClint Edwards
Marriage and Kids are No Joke He may not win Father of the Year, but Clint Edwards has won the hearts of thousands— including the New York Times, Scary Mommy and Good Morning America—thanks to his candor and irreverence when it comes to raising kids, being married and learning from his mistakes. Clint has three children: Tristan (the know it all), Norah (the snarky princess), and Aspen (the worst roommate ever). He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life. Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old). Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.
Rick & Morty #9Zac Gorman
The adventure continues as Rick, Morty and Summer come face to face with the despotic, evil Morty of the Rickless Dimension! Will he succeed in exterminating all the Ricks in the multiverse, or will our plucky heroes find a way to beat the odds and restore order to the Universe? Probably the latter, but we'll see!
Rick & Morty #8Zac Gorman
In this holiday special issue illustrated by series writer Zac Gorman, Rick and Morty celebrate Blumbus, a strange, alternate reality version of Christmas…with a shocking twist! If Morty can survive the night, he may just learn the true meaning of Blumbus after all!
Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't be WrongJean-Benoit Nadeau & Julie Barlow
The French drink, smoke and eat more fat than anyone in the world, yet they live longer and have fewer heart problems than the English and the Americans. They work 35-hour weeks and take seven weeks' paid holiday each year, yet they are the world's fourth-biggest economic power. So how do they do it? From a distance modern France looks like a riddle. It is both rigidly authoritarian, yet incredibly inventive; traditional (even archaic) yet modern; lacking clout on the international stage yet still hugely influential. But with the observations, anecdotes and analysis of the authors, who spent nearly three years living in France, it begins to makes sense. 'Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong' is a journey into the French heart, mind and soul. This book reveals French ideas about land, food, privacy and language and weaves together the threads of French society, uncovering the essence of life in France and giving, for the first time, a complete picture of the French.
Shoot Low, Boys: They're Ridin' Shetland PoniesLewis Grizzard
From New York Times Bestselling Author Lewis Grizzard ... John Wayne had it. True Grit, that is. Bestselling humorist and philosopher Lewis Grizzard looked for other Americans with true grit. What he found will make you laugh and perhaps even wipe away a tear. True Grit. The people in this book have it. And so does Lewis Grizzard. WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING: "Imagine Andy Rooney with a Georgia accent." The Houston Post
Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your BabyMatthew Inman & The Oatmeal
Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog’s guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it. Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you’re not that big of a deal.
You Have to Fucking EatAdam Mansbach
A New York Times Best Seller One of BookRiot's Must-Read Books from Indie Presses for 2014 One of Flavorwire's 50 Best Independent Fiction and Poetry Books of 2014 "You Have to F***ing Eat makes parents of picky eaters smile." --TODAY Parents "Adam Mansbach...will delight exhausted and exasperated parents everywhere for a second time with You Have to F**king Eat--another children's book that is most definitely not for children." --Entertainment Weekly "An equally hilarious ode to kids at the table." --Huffington Post "Parents, Adam Mansbach gets you. He understood that sometimes your kids just won't go the f**k to sleep. And, in his new foulmouthed bedtime book for parents out Wednesday, he understands that sometimes they just won't f**king eat. And he knows, well, it's really f**king annoying. So how about some f**king comic relief?" --GQ "A likeable variation on a universal f***ing theme." --Kirkus Reviews "A hilarious sendup of the eternal fight between kids and their parents over what to eat and when--if at all." --New York Journal of Books "If you're a frustrated parent with a picky child, or even just one who appreciates 'deranged' humor, especially humor that rhymes, this is a terrific read for you...Parents will enjoy a good chuckle and subtle reminder that everything is better, including parenthood, if tackled with a little bit of humor." --San Francisco Book Review "You Have to F**cking Eat, Sequel to Go the F**k to Sleep, Is Finally F**king Coming...It will arrive just in time to gift it to your brother-in-law, who, upon unwrapping it, will clutch it immediately to his chest and shake his head furiously at his waist-high daughter as she claws at him with her chewed up nails. 'No, no, it's not for you,' he'll say, laughing and crying at the same time." --Flavorwire "An uproarious spoof of bedtime board books." --San Francisco Chronicle "A 21st-century bedtime story for the ages (and all ages) if there ever was one." --Bay Area Reporter "Parents, when your precious angel rips you from your three hours of sleep to demand food that he won't actually eat, you'll want this f'ing book." --Mashable "Forthcoming new book by genius funnyman Adam Mansbach." --BoingBoing "Mansbach freely, fabulously curses out the uncensored truth; Brozman makes sure you'll recognize your irresistible, equitably diverse mini-mes with those all-too-familiar expressions, from utter disdain to overwhelming trust and every little eyeball roll in between." --BookDragon/Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center "If your kid has never presented you with some new mind-boggling preference at mealtime, I suspect you're lying." --Persephone Magazine "This book is genius. It is what every parent is thinking when their child refuses dinner." --Old School/New School Mom "With this soon-to-be crude classic, Adam Mansbach has nailed it with his undeniable animal/child comparisons all cozily complimented by Owen Brozman's humorous illustration--we dare you not to giggle into your eggnog." --Curious Mom "Illustrations are just as enjoyable and the narrative again paints the perfect picture." --Roundtable Reviews From the author of the international best seller Go the F*** to Sleep comes a long-awaited sequel about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F***ing Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand- and expectant, a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the F*** to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to F***ing Eat perfectly captures Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.
Uncle John's Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom ReaderBathroom Readers' Institute
At a whopping 600 absorbing pages, Uncle John pulled out all the stops to make the behemoth Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader the epitome of Throne Room entertainment. Happy birthday, Uncle John! This 20th anniversary edition proves that some things do get better with age. Since 1987, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom (and everywhere else for that matter). Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Bathroom Reader is jam-packed with 600 pages of all-new articles (as usual, divided by length for your sitting convenience). In what other single book could you find such a lively mix of surprising trivia, strange lawsuits, dumb crooks, origins of everyday things, forgotten history, quirky quotations, and wacky wordplay? Uncle John rules the world of information and humor, so get ready to be thoroughly entertained as you read about: * The incredible (edible) history of bread * The secret congressional bomb shelter * Farts in the news * The history of the aloha shirt * The real Zorro * The worst city in America * How your taste buds work * It’s the Peanuts story, Charlie Brown And much, much more!
The Honest ToddlerBunmi Laditan
As seen on Good Morning America , the irreverent, bracingly honest, and “awfully funny” ( The Boston Globe ) satirical parenting guide from the Internet’s most infamous tot, whose unchecked sense of entitlement and undeniable charm have captivated hundreds of thousands of fans. Are you the confused parent of a toddler? Are you constantly disappointing the 2T in your life? Are you tired, stressed out, and looking for relief? I can’t help you with that last one, but if you want to become an A+ servant to your small child, this book is for you. Who better to teach you about toddlers than another toddler? In this book you’ll learn: • How time-outs make you look like a fool • Why potty training is not only unnecessary but unrealistic for children under eighteen • Why toddler beds are OUT and letting your child sleep on the diagonal in your bed is IN • The best way to apologize to your toddler for all of those Pinterest casseroles • That when you love someone, you accept them as they are, pants or no pants The hard-hitting knowledge in The Honest Toddler will save you thousands of dollars in unnecessary whole grains and toothbrushes. Happy reading. You’re doing the right thing. For once.
Les SistersWilliam & Cazenove
The « tornades » go to the USA ! Cette année, les Sisters sont allées aux States et Wendy a tellement de choses à raconter à ses amies que l’année scolaire sera certainement trop courte ! Marine aussi à des choses à raconter, mais curieusement les souvenirs ne sont pas les mêmes (elles ont bien fait le même voyage, pourtant ...) En tout cas, Wendy est sûre d’une chose : avec Marine, c’est plus qu’un voyage ! C’est une aventure !
The Cynic’s Word BookAmbrose Bierce
This humorous and satiric dictionary is the predecessor of Bierce's later "Devil's Dictionary."
We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.Samantha Irby
A New York Times Bestseller This essay collection from the “bitches gotta eat” blogger, writer on Hulu’s Shrill , and “one of our country’s most fierce and foulmouthed authors” (Amber Tamblyn, Vulture ) is sure to make you alternately cackle with glee and cry real tears. Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette (she's "35-ish, but could easily pass for 60-something"); detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father's ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
I Remember NothingNora Ephron
Nora Ephron returns with her first book since the astounding success of I Feel Bad About My Neck, taking a cool, hard, hilarious look at the past, the present, and the future, bemoaning the vicissitudes of modern life, and recalling with her signature clarity and wisdom everything she hasn’t (yet) forgotten. Ephron writes about falling hard for a way of life (“Journalism: A Love Story”) and about breaking up even harder with the men in her life (“The D Word”); lists “Twenty-five Things People Have a Shocking Capacity to Be Surprised by Over and Over Again” (“There is no explaining the stock market but people try”; “You can never know the truth of anyone’s marriage, including your own”; “Cary Grant was Jewish”; “Men cheat”); reveals the alarming evolution, a decade after she wrote and directed You’ve Got Mail, of her relationship with her in-box (“The Six Stages of E-Mail”); and asks the age-old question, which came first, the chicken soup or the cold? All the while, she gives candid, edgy voice to everything women who have reached a certain age have been thinking . . . but rarely acknowledging. Filled with insights and observations that instantly ring true—and could have come only from Nora Ephron— I Remember Nothing is pure joy.
You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat GirlCelia Rivenbark
From the bestselling, award-winning author of You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start In The Morning , comes another collection of hilarious observations that will resonate with women, mothers, and girlfriends everywhere In her newest wickedly irreverent humor collection, Celia Rivenbark cracks up while getting her downward facing dog on, pines for a world in which every mom gets to behave like Betty Draper and wonders why everybody's so excited about the Science Fair when there aren't even any rides. In it you'll find essays on such topics as: - Menopause Spurs Thoughts of Death and Turkey - I Dreamed a Dream That My Lashes Were Long - Twitter Woes: I've Got Plenty of Characters, Just No Character - Movie To-Do List: Cook Like Julia, Adopt Really Big Kid - Charlie Bit Your Finger? Good! And other thoughts on the virus that is YouTube And much more! For any woman who longs for the good old days when Jane Fonda in legwarmers was the only one who saw you exercise, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT GIRL is comfort food in book form.
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