Everything I Know About LoveDolly Alderton
- Genre: Humor
- Publish Date: February 25, 2020
- Publisher: Harper
- Buy on Apple Books | $14.99Buy on Amazon
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1
Everything I Know About LoveDolly Alderton
New York Times Bestseller "There is no writer quite like Dolly Alderton working today and very soon the world will know it.” —Lisa Taddeo, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Three Women “Dolly Alderton has always been a sparkling Roman candle of talent. She is funny, smart, and explosively engaged in the wonders and weirdness of the world. But what makes this memoir more than mere entertainment is the mature and sophisticated evolution that Alderton describes in these pages. It’s a beautifully told journey and a thoughtful, important book. I loved it.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love and City of Girls The wildly funny, occasionally heartbreaking internationally bestselling memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love along the ride When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, realizing that Ivan from the corner shop might just be the only reliable man in her life, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Love is about bad dates, good friends and—above all else— realizing that you are enough. Glittering with wit and insight, heart and humor, Dolly Alderton’s unforgettable debut weaves together personal stories, satirical observations, a series of lists, recipes, and other vignettes that will strike a chord of recognition with women of every age—making you want to pick up the phone and tell your best friends all about it. Like Bridget Jones’ Diary but all true, Everything I Know About Love is about the struggles of early adulthood in all its terrifying and hopeful uncertainty.
2
I Can't Make This UpKevin Hart
New York Times bestselling author, superstar comedian, and Hollywood box office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word in this “hilarious but also heartfelt” ( Elle ) memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself. The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has? According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear: A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact. A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together. A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning. It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys. The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero. But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes us on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today. And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion. He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent. “Hart is an incredibly magnetic storyteller, on the page as he is onstage, and that’s what shines through [in this] genial, entertaining guide to a life in comedy” ( Kirkus Reviews ).
3
Theft by FindingDavid Sedaris
One of the most anticipated books of 2017: Boston Globe, New York Times Book Review , New York 's "Vulture", The Week , Bustle, BookRiot An NPR Best Book of 2017 An AV Club Favorite Book of 2017 A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2017 A Goodreads Choice Awards nominee David Sedaris tells all in a book that is, literally, a lifetime in the making. For forty years, David Sedaris has kept a diary in which he records everything that captures his attention-overheard comments, salacious gossip, soap opera plot twists, secrets confided by total strangers. These observations are the source code for his finest work, and through them he has honed his cunning, surprising sentences. Now, Sedaris shares his private writings with the world. Theft by Finding , the first of two volumes, is the story of how a drug-abusing dropout with a weakness for the International House of Pancakes and a chronic inability to hold down a real job became one of the funniest people on the planet. Written with a sharp eye and ear for the bizarre, the beautiful, and the uncomfortable, and with a generosity of spirit that even a misanthropic sense of humor can't fully disguise, Theft By Finding proves that Sedaris is one of our great modern observers. It's a potent reminder that when you're as perceptive and curious as Sedaris, there's no such thing as a boring day .
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Irish Wit, Wisdom and HumorGerd de Ley
Over 1,000 uniquely Irish jokes, puns, and witty observations fit to split anyone’s sides! Take a hilarious tour through Irish history and popular culture, with inimitable insights from Irish celebrities, writers, artists, and more. Ireland sober is Ireland stiff. This collection compiles over 1,000 witticisms, musings, deep thoughts, and one-liners from and about Ireland. Inside you’ll find insights from some of the best representatives of the Emerald Isle, including: • James Joyce • Oscar Wilde • Bono • Edna O'Brien • C.S. Lewis • Sinead O'Connor • George Bernard Shaw • And many more! Distilled from the most popular jokes, witticisms, and wisecracks in Irish history and pop culture, this book is the perfect read for when you want a quick laugh!
5
Happy-Go-LuckyDavid Sedaris
David Sedaris, the “champion storyteller,” ( Los Angeles Times ) returns with his first new collection of personal essays since the bestselling Calypso Back when restaurant menus were still printed on paper, and wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things. As Happy-Go-Lucky opens, he is learning to shoot guns with his sister, visiting muddy flea markets in Serbia, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and telling his nonagenarian father wheelchair jokes. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he’s stuck in lockdown, unable to tour and read for audiences, the part of his work he loves most. To cope, he walks for miles through a nearly deserted city, smelling only his own breath. He vacuums his apartment twice a day, fails to hoard anything, and contemplates how sex workers and acupuncturists might be getting by during quarantine. As the world gradually settles into a new reality, Sedaris too finds himself changed. His offer to fix a stranger’s teeth rebuffed, he straightens his own, and ventures into the world with new confidence. Newly orphaned, he considers what it means, in his seventh decade, no longer to be someone’s son. And back on the road, he discovers a battle-scarred America: people weary, storefronts empty or festooned with Help Wanted signs, walls painted with graffiti reflecting the contradictory messages of our time: Eat the Rich. Trump 2024. Black Lives Matter. In Happy-Go-Lucky, David Sedaris once again captures what is most unexpected, hilarious, and poignant about these recent upheavals, personal and public, and expresses in precise language both the misanthropy and desire for connection that drive us all. If we must live in interesting times, there is no one better to chronicle them than the incomparable David Sedaris.
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I Feel Bad About My NeckNora Ephron
#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself. “Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].” — The Boston Globe With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her life as an obsessed cook, passionate city dweller, and hapless parent. But mostly she speaks frankly and uproariously about life as an older woman. Utterly courageous, uproariously funny, and unexpectedly moving in its truth telling, I Feel Bad About My Neck is a scrumptious, irresistible treat of a book, full of truths, laugh out loud moments that will appeal to readers of all ages.
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What If? 2Randall Munroe
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! An NPR Best Book of 2022 "The questions throughout What If? 2 are equal parts brilliant, gross, and wonderfully absurd and the answers are thorough, deeply researched, and great fun. . . . Science isn’t easy, but in Munroe’s capable hands, it surely can be fun." — TIME The #1 New York Times bestselling author of What If? and How To answers more of the weirdest questions you never thought to ask The millions of people around the world who read and loved What If? still have questions, and those questions are getting stranger. Thank goodness xkcd creator Randall Munroe is here to help. Planning to ride a fire pole from the Moon back to Earth? The hardest part is sticking the landing. Hoping to cool the atmosphere by opening everyone’s freezer door at the same time? Maybe it’s time for a brief introduction to thermodynamics. Want to know what would happen if you rode a helicopter blade, built a billion-story building, made a lava lamp out of lava, or jumped on a geyser as it erupted? Okay, if you insist. Before you go on a cosmic road trip, feed the residents of New York City to a T. rex, or fill every church with bananas, be sure to consult this practical guide for impractical ideas. Unfazed by absurdity, Munroe consults the latest research on everything from swing-set physics to airliner catapult–design to answer his readers’ questions, clearly and concisely, with illuminating and occasionally terrifying illustrations. As he consistently demonstrates, you can learn a lot from examining how the world might work in very specific extreme circumstances.
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NakedDavid Sedaris
In Naked, David Sedaris's message alternately rendered in Fakespeare, Italian, Spanish, and pidgin Greek is the same: pay attention to me. Whether he's taking to the road with a thieving quadriplegic, sorting out the fancy from the extra-fancy in a bleak fruit-packing factory, or celebrating Christmas in the company of a recently paroled prostitute, this collection of memoirs creates a wickedly incisive portrait of an all-too-familiar world. It takes Sedaris from his humiliating bout with obsessive behavior in A Plague of Tics to the title story, where he is finally forced to face his naked self in the mirrored sunglasses of a lunatic. At this soulful and moving moment, he picks potato chip crumbs from his pubic hair and wonders what it all means. This remarkable journey into his own life follows a path of self-effacement and a lifelong search for identity, leaving him both under suspicion and overdressed.
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The Wreckage of My PresenceCasey Wilson
"Magnificent." —People Magazine The instant New York Times bestseller: Laugh-out-loud, deeply insightful, and emotion-filled essays from multitalented actress, comedian, podcaster, and writer Casey Wilson. Casey Wilson has a lot on her mind and she isn’t afraid to share. In this dazzling collection, each essay skillfully constructed and brimming with emotion, she shares her thoughts on the joys and vagaries of modern-day womanhood and motherhood, introduces the not-quite-typical family that made her who she is, and persuasively argues that lowbrow pop culture is the perfect lens through which to examine human nature. Whether she’s extolling the virtues of eating in bed, processing the humiliation over her father’s late in life perm, mourning her mother's passing, or revealing her patented method for keeping the mystery alive in a marriage, Casey is witty, candid, and full of poignant and funny surprises. Humorous dives into her obsessions and areas of personal expertise—self-help, nice guys, cool girls (not her) and how to receive visitors in the bath—are matched by touching meditations on female friendship, anger, grief, motherhood, and identity. Reading The Wreckage of My Presence is like spending time with a close friend—a deeply passionate, full-tilt, joyous, excessive, compulsive, shameless, hungry-for-it-all, loyal, cheerleading friend. A friend who is ready for any big feelings that come her way—and isn’t afraid to embrace them.
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Happy People Are AnnoyingJosh Peck
A wonderfully candid memoir from one of the most recognizable faces of a generation, actor, writer, Youtuber, and television superstar, Josh Peck. In his warm and inspiring book, Josh reflects on the many stumbles and silver linings of his life and traces a zigzagging path to redemption. Written with such impressive detail and aching honesty, Happy People are Annoying is full of surprising life lessons for anyone seeking to accept their past and make peace with the complicated face in the mirror. Josh Peck rose to near-instant fame when he starred for four seasons as the comedic center of Nickelodeon’s hit show Drake & Josh. However, while he tried to maintain his role as the funniest, happiest kid in every room, Josh struggled alone with the kind of rising anger and plummeting confidence that quietly took over his life. For the first time, Josh reflects on his late teens and early twenties. Raised by a single mother, and coming of age under a spotlight that could be both invigorating and cruel, Josh filled the cratering hole in his self-worth with copious amounts of food, television, drugs, and all of the other trappings of young stardom. Until he realized the only person standing in his way...was himself. Today, with a string of lead roles on hit television shows and movies, and one of the most enviable and dedicated fanbases on the internet, Josh Peck is more than happy, he’s finally, enthusiastically content. Happy People are Annoying is the culmination of years of learning, growing, and finding bright spots in the scary parts of life. Written with the kind of humor, strength of character, and unwavering self-awareness only someone who has mastered their ego can muster, this memoir reminds us of the life-changing freedom on the other side of acceptance.
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Hyperbole and a Half - Enhanced EditionAllie Brosh
FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. Touching, absurd, and darkly comic, Allie Brosh’s highly anticipated book Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
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You Are Not So SmartDavid McRaney
An entertaining illumination of the stupid beliefs that make us feel wise. You believe you are a rational, logical being who sees the world as it really is, but journalist David McRaney is here to tell you that you're as deluded as the rest of us. But that's OK- delusions keep us sane. You Are Not So Smart is a celebration of self-delusion. It's like a psychology class, with all the boring parts taken out, and with no homework. Based on the popular blog of the same name, You Are Not So Smart collects more than 46 of the lies we tell ourselves everyday, including: Dunbar's Number - Humans evolved to live in bands of roughly 150 individuals, the brain cannot handle more than that number. If you have more than 150 Facebook friends, they are surely not all real friends. Hindsight bias - When we learn something new, we reassure ourselves that we knew it all along. Confirmation bias - Our brains resist new ideas, instead paying attention only to findings that reinforce our preconceived notions. Brand loyalty - We reach for the same brand not because we trust its quality but because we want to reassure ourselves that we made a smart choice the last time we bought it. Packed with interesting sidebars and quick guides on cognition and common fallacies, You Are Not So Smart is a fascinating synthesis of cutting-edge psychology research to turn our minds inside out.
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Dave Barry's Greatest HitsDave Barry
When Dave Barry is on the loose, no one is safe! What Dave Barry did for the men’s movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on: Football—Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform “the wave.” Sailing—There’s nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid. Gambling—Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, “Thank You for Not Smoking.” The best you can hope for is, “Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.” “The good news: he’s funny as ever. The bad news: the book is only 304 pages.”—Los Angeles Daily News
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Please Don't Eat the DaisiesJean Kerr
The “refreshing . . . laugh-out-loud” #1 New York Times bestseller about life in the suburbs that was adapted into a classic film comedy ( Kirkus Reviews ). One day, Tony Award–winning playwright Jean Kerr packed up her four kids (and husband, Walter, one of Broadway’s sharpest critics), and left New York City. They moved to a faraway part of the world that promised a grassy utopia where daisies grew wild and homes were described as neo-gingerbread. In this collection of “wryly observant” essays, Kerr chronicles her new life in this strange land called Larchmont ( The Washington Post ). It sounds like bliss—no more cramped apartments and nightmarish after-theater cocktail parties where the martinis were never dry enough. Now she has her very own washer/dryer, a garden, choice seats at the hottest new third-grade school plays (low overhead but they’ll never recoup their losses), and a fresh new kind of lunacy. In Please Don’t Eat the Daisies “Jean Kerr cooks with laughing gas” as she explores the everyday absurdities, anxieties, and joys of marriage, family, friends, home decorating, and maintaining a career—but this time with a garage! ( Time ).
15
Car FeverJames May
Top Gear's James May is back with his hilarious and controversial opinions on . . . just about everything. As well as writing about his first love, cars, James has a go at political correctness, the endless rules and regulations of daily life, the internal combustion engine and traffic wardens. He discusses gastropubs, Jeremy Clarkson and other trials of modern life. His highly entertaining observations from behind the wheel will have you laughing out loud, whether you share his opinions, or not. Car Fever is an indispensable guide to life for the modern driver.
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MultitaskingRick Kirkman
The newest Baby Blues scrapbook includes every comic strip from 2021, showcasing the relatable antics of family life with 9-year-old Zoe, 7-year-old Hammie, and 2-year-old Wren in a unique comic strip experience that will appeal to parents (and grandparents!) everywhere. Featuring the combined talents of writer Jerry Scott and illustrator Rick Kirkman, Baby Blues is one of the most popular family comic strips of the past three decades. Appearing in newspapers across the country, Baby Blues chronicles the cuteness, sibling squabbles, sleepless nights, and daily comedy of the MacPherson family. The latest scrapbook includes an entire year's worth of Baby Blues comics by the award-winning duo, who draw on their own personal experiences in capturing the joys and complexities of modern family life in hilarious comic-strip form.
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AA to ZChristopher Cavanaugh
What does a codependent say to his mate when he wakes up? "Good morning, how am I?" --Overheard at a Codependents Anonymous meeting Throughout the world today, more than two million alcoholics and hundreds of thousands of drug addicts, compulsive overeaters, sex addicts, compulsive gamblers, codependents, and other addicts abstain from their addiction, having found a new life by practicing the 12-step program of recovery developed by Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the years, their practices have evolved into a way of life--the 12-Step Culture. "I don't remember my first meeting, but I've been told that I talked for a really long time." --Mary, a member of Narcotics Anonymous AA to Z is the first book to document the richness and diversity of the lives of recovering people and to provide an encyclopedic look at this unique subculture. Less self-help than enlightenment and entertainment, AA to Z is comprised of real-life stories of recovering addicts as well as an "addictionary" of recovery terminology. Everything from the well-known slogan "One Day at a Time" to more esoteric terms like "pigeon" (a lovingly insulting term for a newcomer to the program) and "Wharf Rats" (sober Deadheads) is explained with clarity, insight, and humor. "How it works, you ask--slowly and well." --Cooper, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous Conversational, witty, and engaging, AA to Z is a must-have for all 12-step participants and their loved ones, and it offers the uninitiated a fascinating firsthand look at one of the most influential yet least-documented cultural movements of our time.
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Milk & Mocha Comics CollectionMelani Sie
Cozy up with a warm cup of tea and follow the sweet scenes of Milk and Mocha, from the popular webcomic @milkmochabear. Milk and Mocha share their sweet slice-of-life moments in this new collection, including never-before-seen comics! Milk and Mocha are charming bears with opposite personalities. These uplifting comics remind us of the sweet moments we share with our friends, family, and loved ones.
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Letters and More Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His SonGeorge Horace Lorimer
Letters and More Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son presents George Horace Lorimer’s famous Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son and its lesser known but equally brilliant sequel, More Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son. With his unique dry wit, Lorimer lampoons the attitudes of the newly moneyed classes of the Gilded Age – characters straight out of The Great Gatsby – in a series of fictional exchanges between John ‘Old Gorgon’ Graham, a prosperous pork-packer in Chicago, and his son, Pierrepont, whom he ‘affectionately’ calls ‘Piggy.’ The letters of Book 1 ( Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son ) are from a father to a son in college (Harvard) but in the sequel ( More Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His Son ) Pierrepont has graduated and is writing to his old man to see if there is any work for him in the family business. The Gorgon is reluctant but thinks there might be an opportunity for Piggy in the lard department… “One of the under-rated masterpieces of early American literature. ” - F. R. Brown.
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I Wouldn't Start from HereAndrew Mueller & Robert Young Pelton
What is a jaded rock journalist doing dodging landmines to talk to mercenaries and terrorists? And what kind of conversation can a man who prefers hunting for perfect three-minute pop songs and tubes of beer have with devotees of fasting and ferocity? Sarajevo. Jerusalem. Kabul. Belfast. Kosovo. Gaza. Basra. New York City. Every place where recent history advertises the stubbornness, intolerance, bloodlust, and cowardice that sully our collective record, there the intrepid Andrew Mueller goes, skidding around the globe from failed state to ravaged war zone to desolate no-man’s-land to try to unpick why we humans seem so prone to plucking war from the jaws of peace. En route, he meets various influential panjandrums (Al Gore, Gerry Adams, Bono, Paddy Ashdown), any number of assorted warlords and revolutionaries, and a sprinkling of peacemakers and do-gooders. He also manages to get shot at, locked up, and taken on a tour by one of the world’s most infamous terrorist organizations. It’s like a Bond film with much, much less sex, and might appear for that and other reasons to be substantially a story of disappointment. Yet it’s a surprisingly sunny book given the mire in which he finds himself.
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Do I Feel Better Yet?Madeleine Trebenski
If you've ever dared to express dissatisfaction with the state of your life, you've inevitably received a variety of helpful suggestions: "Have you tried meditation? Exercise? A cult? An exercise cult?" In Do I Feel Better Yet?, Madeleine Trebenski explores more than 45 so-called solutions suggested to her in the name of self-care. In a playful and at times sardonic chronicle of the elusive promises of multistep skin-care routines, gratitude journaling, scented candles, and more, Trebenski perfectly captures what it's like to live in a time when homemade kombucha and weighted blankets are said to single-handedly solve all our problems. These essays will make you laugh, make you feel less alone, and maybe make you feel better—even if just for a little while.
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Homicidal Psycho Jungle CatBill Watterson
Now available for the first time as an e-book! Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat chronicles another segment of the multifarious adventures of this wild child and his faithful, but skeptical, friend. If the best cartoons compel readers to identify themselves within the funny frames, then all who enjoy Calvin and Hobbes are creative, imaginative, and ... bad, bad, bad! Calvin, the irascible little boy with the stuffed tiger who comes to life are a pair bound for trouble. Boring school lessons become occasions for death-defying alien air battles, speeding snow sled descents elicit philosophical discussions on the meaning of life, and Hobbe's natural inclination to pounce on his little friend wreaks havoc on Calvin's sense of security. Calvin's the kid we all wish we'd been. Sassy, imaginative, far more verbal than his parents can manage, Calvin is the quintessential bad boy -- and the boy we love to see. He terrorizes little Susie, offers "Candid Opinions" from a neighborhood stand, and questions his parents' authority. "What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?" he demands. Calvin and Hobbes manages to say what needs to be said about childhood and life: "Eww, mud," says Calvin. "Look at this gooshy, dirty, slimy, thick, wet mud ... Bleecch ... Talk about a kid magnet!"
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One in a MillennialKate Kennedy
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER NATIONAL BESTSELLER From pop culture podcaster and a voice of a generation, Kate Kennedy, a celebration of the millennial zeitgeist One In a Millennial is an exploration of pop culture, nostalgia, the millennial zeitgeist, and the life lessons learned (for better and for worse) from coming of age as a member of a much-maligned generation. Kate is a pop culture commentator and host of the popular millennial-focused podcast Be There in Five . Part-funny, part-serious, Kate navigates the complicated nature of celebrating and criticizing the culture that shaped her as a woman, while arguing that great depths can come from surface-level interests. With her trademark style and vulnerability, One In a Millennial is sharp, hilarious, and heartwarming all at once. She tackles AOL Instant Messenger, purity culture, American Girl Dolls, going out tops, Spice Girl feminism, her feelings about millennial motherhood, and more. Kate’s laugh-out-loud asides and keen observations will have you nodding your head and maybe even tearing up.
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Paddle Your Own CanoeNick Offerman
Parks and Recreation actor and Making It co-host Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in this New York Times bestseller. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman—who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation ’s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking—he runs his own woodshop— Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois—“I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield”—to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.
25
A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again: An Essay (Digital Original)David Foster Wallace
Beloved for his keen eye, sharp wit, and relentless self-mockery, David Foster Wallace has been celebrated by both critics and fans as the voice of a generation. In this hilarious essay, originally published in the collection A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again , he chronicles seven days in the Caribbean aboard the m.v. Zenith. As he partakes in supposedly fun activities offered on the luxury tour, he offers riotous anecdotes and unparalleled insight into contemporary American culture.
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The World's Worst AssistantSona Movsesian
***An Instant New York Time s Bestselle r*** A Goodreads Choice Nominee for Best Humor Book One of Vulture 's Best Comedy Books of 2022 | One of Business Insider 's Best Books About Celebrities | One of NPR 's Books We Love in 2022 | One of Hudson's Best Books of 2022 | One of Audible's Best of Audiobooks of 2022 From Conan O’Brien’s longtime assistant and cohost of his podcast, Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend , a completely hilarious and irreverent how-to guide for becoming a terrible, yet unfireable employee, spilling her trade secrets for minimizing effort while maximizing the rewards. Sona Movsesian didn’t wake up one day and decide to become the World’s Worst Assistant. Achieving such greatness is a gradual process--one that starts with long hours and hard work before it eventually descends into sneaking low-dosage edibles into your lunch and napping on your boss’s couch. With a foreword from Conan O’Brien, The World’s Worst Assistant is populated with hysterical black-and-white illustrations, comics, and more. It’s a mixture of how-tos (like How to Nap at Work and How to Watch TV at Your Desk), tips for becoming untouchable (like memorizing social security and credit card numbers and endearing yourself to friends and family), and incredible personal stories from Sona’s twelve years spent working for Conan that put their adorable closeness and professional dysfunction on display. In these pages, Sona will explain her descent from eager, hard-working, ambitious, detail-orientated assistant to self-awarded title-holder for the worst in history. This book is irresistible fun you’ll want to give to every young professional in your life. For readers of heartfelt humor like that of Phoebe Robinson and Colin Jost, The World’s Worst Assistant is a chance for fans, viewers, and listeners of Conan’s shows and podcast to fall in love with Sona and Conan all over again.
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Talk Southern to MeJulia Fowler
The creator of YouTube’s Southern Women Channel shares humorous, lighthearted essays on Southern life. Talk Southern To Me is a love letter to the South, y’all. Essays ’bout charm, beauty and style, chewin’ the fat, love, parenting, and more―full of yes ma’ams and no sirs, casseroles and cheese balls, taffeta and pom-poms…plus more Southern phrases than you can shake a stick at. If you’re not from the South—bless your heart—pay attention cause there’s a ton of wisdom to be found in these heartfelt, humorous ways. Southerners speak their own unique version of the English language, and you’ll come to understand it in these pages. It’s a linguistic art. And it’s gooder than grits, y’all. “I really love… Talk Southern to Me . I know you’ll love it too. It’s fun, informative, and oh-so-Southern.”—Dolly Parton “[Julia Fowler’s] humor and intelligence shine through everything she does, including the pages of this most entertaining book.”—Patricia Altschul, author of The Art of Southern Charm “A hilarious, wise, and winning explanation of the heart and soul of the South written by one of its most beloved—and loveable—daughters.”—Celia Rivenbark, columnist and New York Times –bestselling author of You Don’t Sweat Much for a Fat Girl “Lord have mercy on my soul, did Julia Fowler hit the nail on the head with her hysterical new book. My Mama suddenly came back to life, shaking her finger in my face and reminding me of all that is Southern.”—Del Shores, writer and director of Sordid Lives
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የሴራ እርካብ፤ የደም መንበርYayesew Shemeles
The writer's name: Yayesew Shimelis -ያየሰው ሽመልስ The compelling book, "የሴራ እርካብ፤ የደም መንበር" , penned by Yayesew Shimelis, an intrepid journalist and the proprietor of Ethioforum, the prominent Amharic media outlet, offers an incisive exploration of the turbulent landscape of Ethiopian politics. Yayesew, a young and contemplative Ethiopian journalist, fearlessly navigates the tumultuous currents of recent political developments in Ethiopia, delving into the intricate web of political issues and current societal issues. In this thought-provoking narrative, Yayesew shares his personal journey, recounting the price he paid for his commitment to truth. Having faced imprisonment by the Ethiopian government on seven separate occasions within just three years, he unveils the challenges and sacrifices made in his pursuit of professional journalism. The book unfolds over a span of four years, providing an in-depth analysis of Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed's tenure. Drawing on firsthand experiences, insider connections, factual data, and encounters with key figures, including former and current politicians, military commanders, retired and active diplomats, and veterans, Yayesew sheds light on pivotal stories, evidence, and facts surrounding Abiy Ahmed's leadership and his circle. Covering a spectrum of topics, the narrative explores war, widespread casualties, large-scale imprisonment, conspiracies, and criminal alliances. Key events such as Abiy Ahmed's marriage, his controversial education, the betrayal of close associates, the attack on the northern command, the Sene 16 bomb explosion (ሰኔ 16 የቦንብ ጥቃት), and the war in Tigray are dissected, revealing their profound consequences. The role of the media during this conflict is also scrutinized, offering a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted challenges faced by the nation. Covering a spectrum of topics, the narrative explores war, widespread casualties, large-scale imprisonment, conspiracies, and criminal alliances. Key events such as Abiy Ahmed's marriage, his controversial education, the betrayal of close associates, the attack on the northern command, the Sene 16 bomb explosion (ሰኔ 16 የቦንብ ጥቃት), and the war in Tigray are dissected, revealing their profound consequences. The role of the media during this conflict is also scrutinized, offering a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted challenges faced by the nation.
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There's Treasure EverywhereBill Watterson
In the world that Calvin and his tiger Hobbes share, treasures can be found in the most unlikely places, from the outer regions where Spaceman Spiff travels to the rocks in the backyard—this curious duo roams their world in search of fortunes (and misfortunes!) to be experienced. On his own, Calvin is prey to the insidious killer bicycle, is the arbiter of the Dad poll, is the creator of a legion of snowmen who provide an incisive social commentary, and Hobbes is always there as the perfect companion. Watterson's talent is evidenced by the range of thought-provoking emotions the strip encompasses in addition to the laughs it induces: the loyalty and friendship between Calvin and Hobbes , the challenge of being a patient parent, and the sardonic viewpoint of a cynical six-year-old ("I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family," laments Calvin) combine to make this one of the best-loved strips in cartoon history.
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Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow GoonsBill Watterson
Now available for the first time as an e-book! In Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons, Calvin suffers a host of hardships. He gets attacked by his new two-wheeler bike. Hobbes gets kidnapped by Susie, a slimy girl. His father cancels Calvin's personal TV network. Self-multiplying deranged mutant killer monster snow goons threaten to take over the yard. And if that wasn't enough, the ethicated duplicate of Calvin's good side wreaks havoc with his reputation by doing good deeds. Yet Calvin conquers all with his irrepressible spirit and a little help from alter-egos Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet, private eye. Readers are delighted by Calvin's resourceful wit, which applies to everything from philosophical speculations to attempts to outsmart his parents.
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Girl With No JobClaudia Oshry
The instant New York Times bestseller and laugh-out-loud look at pop culture and social media stardom from one of the most popular funemployed millennials today, perfect for fans of Give Them Lala and The Betches. As the creator of the breakout Instagram account @GirlWithNoJob, Claudia Oshry has turned not wanting an ordinary career into a thriving media company and pop culture-focused podcast and morning show. The origins of her pop culture obsessions can be traced back to household debates over boy bands and her flair for the dramatic to her young emulation of Blair Waldorf. When she started @GirlWithNoJob, Claudia entered that world as a social media influencer, sharing her unbelievable—and incredibly awkward—encounters with some of her favorite A-listers as she navigates her incredible access. Now, in this juicy, behind-the-scenes look at the life of an Instagram sensation, Claudia leaves nothing out as she contemplates staying true to yourself while hustling in today’s digital culture. Sometimes the best lessons are learned the hard way, and her journey hasn’t been without its punch-in-the-face doses of humility. But, like anyone with a relentless desire to be popular, she dusts herself off and finds a new, better way forward. With humor and unique insights, Claudia examines the nature of social media celebrity, the many sides of fandom, and cancel culture. If there’s one thing she knows for sure, she was born thirsty, and she’s here for another round!
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The Ultimate Book of Heroic FailuresStephen Pile
THE SUNDAY TIMES HUMOUR BOOK OF THE YEAR 'One of the few books to make me laugh out loud' Sunday Express With Stephen Pile's The Ultimate Book of Heroic Failures , celebrate the very best in failure with this all new collection of outrageously funny misadventures from the author of the classic number one bestseller The Book of Heroic Failures . Anyone can be a success, but it takes real and original genius to foul up big time. These are the all-time greats, Gods in the field of failure, surreal artists, who spurn mere drab success ('I'm a winner, Lord Sugar') to explore the vast, magical, life-enhancing possibilities of getting it wrong. Any of us could make a mistake, but these great souls can turn the simplest everyday task into a scene of jaw-dropping wonder. These are the immortals. Failure is everywhere. The Book of Heroic Failures , takes us on an all-new and mind-bendingly hilarious tour to celebrate the most spectacular and absurd failures of the last twenty-five years. There are 235 stories in total spread from the Outer Hebrides to America, Ireland, Australia, Europe and Africa. From the most driving test failures (959), the most pointless election (in Dakota, in which not even the mayor voted), the worst robbery (when two different sets of bank robbers struck simultaneously) and the worst mugger (who left his victim $250 better off), to the holidaying rugby team of fifty-somethings from Dorchester who, due to a mis-translation, ended up playing the top team from Romania live on state TV, this is the ultimate book to make you feel better about yourself and the world around you.
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The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ckSarah Knight
The "genius" national bestseller on the art of caring less and getting more -- from the author of Calm the F*ck Down and F*ck No ( Cosmopolitan ). Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It's time to stop giving a f*ck. This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo's bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt -- and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy. The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about: Family drama Having a "bikini body" Iceland Co-workers' opinions, pets, and children And other bullsh*t! And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today! Discover more of the magic of not giving a f*ck with The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck Journal.
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How to Be PerfectMichael Schur
From the creator of The Good Place and the cocreator of Parks and Recreation , a hilarious, thought-provoking guide to living an ethical life, drawing on 2,400 years of deep thinking from around the world. Most people think of themselves as “good,” but it’s not always easy to determine what’s “good” or “bad”—especially in a world filled with complicated choices and pitfalls and booby traps and bad advice. Fortunately, many smart philosophers have been pondering this conundrum for millennia and they have guidance for us. With bright wit and deep insight, How to Be Perfect explains concepts like deontology, utilitarianism, existentialism, ubuntu, and more so we can sound cool at parties and become better people. Schur starts off with easy ethical questions like “Should I punch my friend in the face for no reason?” (No.) and works his way up to the most complex moral issues we all face. Such as: Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Why bother being good at all when there are no consequences for being bad? And much more. By the time the book is done, we’ll know exactly how to act in every conceivable situation, so as to produce a verifiably maximal amount of moral good. We will be perfect, and all our friends will be jealous. OK, not quite. Instead, we’ll gain fresh, funny, inspiring wisdom on the toughest issues we face every day.
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Disappointing AffirmationsDave Tarnowski
From the wildly popular Instagram account, Disappointing Affirmations hilariously counters the culture of relentless toxic positivity with a realistic take on a disappointing world where failure is always an option, but that’s okay. Pairing lovely vacation photos taken by the author himself with sayings that are amusingly self-critical, encouraging, disillusioned, or all three at once, Tarnowski points to feelings commonly unacknowledged or hidden and spotlights them with humor, wit, and empathy. You can do it! But you probably won’t. But also: Be kind to yourself, a*****e. Transforming and re-envisioning the material for print while adding tons of new work, this is the funny-because-it’s-true, sneaky self-help gift book for anyone who isn’t happy all the time and doesn’t feel seen in the whole “positive mental attitude” culture. Unfollow your dreams! IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, “It’s okay to not be okay,” but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it's better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the “positive vibes only” self-help trap. COMEDY FOR A NEW ERA: Wellness has been slowly taking a darker turn in popular culture, and comedy is no exception. From Inside by Bo Burnham to the absurdity of TV giant Succession, audiences are drawn to media that embraces discomfort rather than drowning it out. Disappointing Affirmations may not look very comforting, but not all self-care comes in the form of warm hugs and sunrise yoga. FOR HUMOR BOOK FANS: Seeking a gift for the anti-optimist in your life? This one fits the bill for fans of satirical doom classics and self-help antidotes such as All My Friends Are Dead, Am I Overthinking This?, the Worst Case Scenario series, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. THERE’S MORE: See also the Disappointing Affirmations Pencils and Disappointing Affirmations: 30 Postcards set. You won’t be disappointed. Perfect for:College grads, people entering the workforce, people who wish they hadn’t entered the workforceFans of the @disappointingaffirmations Instagram accountAnyone who isn't always cheerful and doesn't feel seenFans of satire and sarcastic humor Anyone feeling burnout, empathy fatigue, positivity fatigue, or fatigue in general
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The Best of MeDavid Sedaris
“Genius… It is miraculous to read these pieces… You must read The Best of Me .” —Andrew Sean Greer, New York Times Book Review A New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice A CNN and Christian Science Monitor Best Book of the Month For more than twenty-five years, David Sedaris has been carving out a unique literary space, virtually creating his own genre. A Sedaris story may seem confessional, but is also highly attuned to the world outside. It opens our eyes to what is at absurd and moving about our daily existence. And it is almost impossible to read without laughing. Now, for the first time collected in one volume, the author brings us his funniest and most memorable work. In these stories, Sedaris shops for rare taxidermy, hitchhikes with a lady quadriplegic, and spits a lozenge into a fellow traveler’s lap. He drowns a mouse in a bucket, struggles to say “give it to me” in five languages, and hand-feeds a carnivorous bird. But if all you expect to find in Sedaris’s work is the deft and sharply observed comedy for which he became renowned, you may be surprised to discover that his words bring more warmth than mockery, more fellow-feeling than derision. Nowhere is this clearer than in his writing about his loved ones. In these pages, Sedaris explores falling in love and staying together, recognizing his own aging not in the mirror but in the faces of his siblings, losing one parent and coming to terms—at long last—with the other. Taken together, the stories in The Best of Me reveal the wonder and delight Sedaris takes in the surprises life brings him. No experience, he sees, is quite as he expected—it’s often harder, more fraught, and certainly weirder—but sometimes it is also much richer and more wonderful. Full of joy, generosity, and the incisive humor that has led David Sedaris to be called “the funniest man alive” ( Time Out New York ), The Best of Me spans a career spent watching and learning and laughing—quite often at himself—and invites readers deep into the world of one of the most brilliant and original writers of our time.
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Unbecoming a LadyTherese Oneill
A quippy and irreverent collection of illustrated profiles of the great American women who weren’t attractive, well-spoken, demure, or sinless enough to receive their rightful place in history, until now, from New York Times bestselling author Therese Oneill. Slut. Shrew. Sinful. Scold. The 19th- and early 20th-century American women profiled in this collection were called all these names and worse when they were alive. And that’s just fine. These glorious dames earned those monikers, and one hundred years later they can wear them proudly! They refused to conform to societal standards. They bucked everyday niceties and blazed their own trails. They were collectively unbecoming as women, but they forever changed what women can become. With irresistible charm and laugh-out-loud impertinence, New York Times bestselling author Therese Oneill chronicles the lives of eighteen unbecoming ladies whose audacity, courage, and sheer disdain for lady-like expectations left them out of so many history books. Curious readers will learn about forgotten heroines such as: -Dr. Mary Edwards Walker: who, despite being the only woman ever awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, was shunned and forgotten due to her insistence on wearing pants in public. -Elizabeth Packard: whose careful record of her own unjust incarceration in a 19th century madhouse by her husband (her crime: not wanting to be Presbyterian anymore) led to nationwide law reforms to protect the rights of those with mental health issues. -Lilian Gilbreth: best remembered for being the real-life mom of Cheaper by the Dozen but who probably should be remembered for scientifically removing the stigma of the sanitary napkin and designing the modern-day kitchen. -And many more! With dozens of illustrations and historical photographs throughout, Unbecoming a Lady shines a light on unforgettable, impressive women who deserve to be remembered.
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What Did They Say?Todd Sherman
Nearly ten years into his teaching career, Todd Sherman affirmed that no matter our age, we all have moments when our mouths don’t sync with our thoughts. While teaching language arts to eighth graders in August 2007, he overheard a student blurt, “Floyd is not a first name.” After the quote gave Sherman pause, he and the students decided to begin logging their hilarious sayings on the whiteboard. He recorded the comments, and soon “Quote of the Day” became a staple in his classroom. In an entertaining collection that includes many of the stories behind the quotes, Sherman shares over six hundred outlandish comments of his students organized into thirteen categories: Geography, Food, Animals, School, Sports, Anatomy, Color, Time, Punctuation/Spelling, The Dark Side, Captain Obvious, Mea Culpa (his quotes), and Miscellaneous (what’s left). Quotes include, “I was in New York for like two days yesterday,” “Raisins are basically grandma grapes,” “I did the homework in my head,” “I always thought Santa watched me through the air vent when I got changed,” and much more. What Did They Say? shares more than six hundred hilarious comments from eighth-graders and the stories behind them catalogued by their teacher for thirteen years.
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Bossypants Tina Fey
Spirited and whip-smart, these laugh-out-loud autobiographical essays are "a masterpiece" from the Emmy Award-winning actress and comedy writer known for 30 Rock, Mean Girls, and SNL" ( Sunday Telegraph ). Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live ; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake!
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Uncle John's Weird, Wonderful World Bathroom ReaderBathroom Readers' Institute
Uncle John is back with the 36th annual Bathroom Reader, an all-new collection of entertaining articles that explore the weird and wonderful world we live in. In this 36th edition of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader , longtime fans and new readers alike will be astounded by a treasure trove of wonderfully weird (and true!) stories that explore the realms of pop culture, history, sports, science, and everyday folks, including the always popular misadventures of dumb crooks. Uncle John and his team at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have reached into all corners of the world to bring you this all-new collection of entertaining and informative articles that include short reads for a quick trip to the throne room as well as longer page-turners for when you take an extended visit. You’ll also find a plethora of amusing lists, odd factoids, quotes, and quizzes that will tickle every trivia enthusiast’s fancy.
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TommyInnit Says...The Quote BookTom Simons & Will Gold
A laugh-out-loud 'best of' selection of TommyInnit's most weird and wonderful quotes - plus much more - carefully selected to BLOW YOUR MIND by him and best friend Wilbur Soot. ' Nah, I think I'd be a pretty bad shark ' ' What if God was just legs? ' 'We're really just chilling, fellas' Born sometime in the early 2000s, TommyInnit's first job was a YouTuber. No, really, we're not joking, the very first job he had was a YouTuber. For the last three years, he's been mouthing off on the internet to anyone who will listen. So far, that's over 40 million followers. Will there ever be an end to TommyInnit's rampant flurry of success? Probably. And Wilbur Soot has been right by his side. Wilbur first started his career as a young man staring at the wall until he also became a YouTuber. He also discovered a little activity some may call 'singing'. In The Quote Book, TommyInnit covers a wealth of topics from cars-that-grow-teeth to slime people, and from things that be crazy to octopi. Curated and edited by Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit is about to change your life one word at a time. Unless, dear reader, you read two words at a time, like he does. Featuring: A day in the life Inside TommyInnit's brain What TommyInnit would do if he was God Life advice from Wilbur Love poetry and history lessons, TommyInnit style Wilbur's attempts to reason with TommyInnit
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All My Friends Are DeadAvery Monsen & Jory John
If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life while exploring each cartoon character's unique grievance and wide-eyed predicament. From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable.
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A Cry from the Far MiddleP. J. O'Rourke
In a time of chaos, the #1 New York Times– bestselling political humorist asks his fellow Americans to take it down a notch. Is there an upside to being woke (and unable to get back to sleep)? If we license dentists, why don’t we license politicians? Is your juicer sending fake news to your FitBit about what’s in your refrigerator? The legendary P. J. O’Rourke addresses these questions and more in this hilarious new collection of essays about our nation’s propensity for anger and perplexity, which includes such gems as “An Inaugural Address I’d Like to Hear” (Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how I can get the hell out of here) and “Sympathy vs. Empathy,” which contemplates whether it’s better to hold people’s hands or bust into their heads. Also included is a handy quiz to find out where you stand on the Coastals-vs.-Heartlanders spectrum. From the author of Parliament of Whores , None of My Business , and other modern classics, this is a smart look at the current state of these United States, and a plea to everyone to take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy a few good laughs. “To say that P. J. O’Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic—accurate but insufficient.” — Chicago Tribune “The funniest writer in America.” — The Wall Street Journal
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When You Are Engulfed in FlamesDavid Sedaris
"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," ( The Christian Science Monitor ) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book. Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes him from the French countryside to a hilariously uncomfortable memory of buying drugs in a mobile home in rural North Carolina. In essay after essay, Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life-having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger on a plane or armoring the windows with LP covers to protect the house from neurotic songbirds-to the most deeply resonant human truths. Culminating in a brilliant account of his venture to Tokyo in order to quit smoking, David Sedaris's sixth essay collection is a new masterpiece of comic writing from "a writer worth treasuring" ( Seattle Times ). Praise for When You Are Engulfed in Flames : "Older, wiser, smarter and meaner, Sedaris...defies the odds once again by delivering an intelligent take on the banalities of an absurd life." -- Kirkus Reviews This latest collection proves that not only does Sedaris still have it, but he's also getting better....Sedaris's best stuff will still--after all this time--move, surprise, and entertain." -- Booklist Table of Contents: It's Catching Keeping Up The Understudy This Old House Buddy, Can You Spare a Tie? Road Trips What I Learned That's Amore The Monster Mash In the Waiting Room Solutions to Saturday's Puzzle Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool Memento Mori All the Beauty You Will Ever Need Town and Country Aerial The Man in the Hut Of Mice and Men April in Paris Crybaby Old Faithful The Smoking Section
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I Was Told There'd Be CakeSloane Crosley
Hailed by David Sedaris as "perfectly, relentlessly funny" and by Colson Whitehead as "sardonic without being cruel, tender without being sentimental," from the author of the new collection Look Alive Out There . Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.
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God, No!Penn Jillette
The New York Times bestselling reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of the world-famous magic duo Penn & Teller. A scathingly funny reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of world-famous magic duo Penn and Teller reveals an atheist's experience in the world: from performing on the Vegas strip with Siegfried and Roy to children and fatherhood to his ongoing dialogue with proselytizers of the Christian Right and the joys of sex while scuba-diving, Penn has an outrageous sense of humor and a brilliantly entertaining opinion on, well, anything you care to think of.
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Wow, No Thank You.Samantha Irby
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner • A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” —Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!
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How to Invent EverythingRyan North
An NPR Best Book of 2018 " How to Invent Everything is such a cool book. It's essential reading for anyone who needs to duplicate an industrial civilization quickly." --Randall Munroe, xkcd creator and New York Times -bestselling author of What If? The only book you need if you're going back in time What would you do if a time machine hurled you thousands of years into the past. . . and then broke? How would you survive? Could you improve on humanity's original timeline? And how hard would it be to domesticate a giant wombat? With this book as your guide, you'll survive-- and thrive --in any period in Earth's history. Bestselling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North shows you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted--from first principles. This illustrated manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up. Deeply researched, irreverent, and significantly more fun than being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, How to Invent Everything will make you smarter, more competent, and completely prepared to become the most important and influential person ever. You're about to make history. . . better.
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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill YouThe Oatmeal
Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You . If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
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One Day You'll Thank MeCameran Eubanks Wimberly
USA TODAY BESTSELLER The fan favorite alumna of the Bravo hit series Southern Charm offers a witty and candid collection of essays on dating, pregnancy, and parenthood. Growing up in South Carolina with a family that goes back ten generations, Cameran Eubanks knew from a young age that Southern women are expected to want the white picket fence life. But Cameran has never been your typical Southern belle. She set out to paint the town red, enjoy her single life, focus on her successful real estate career, maybe join the cast of a hugely popular reality show…and then she met her future husband, Jason. After falling in love and getting married, Cameran faced the same dilemma so many women encounter: whether or not to have kids. Ultimately, her own journey to motherhood was anything but simple. Now, she takes you deeper into her life—from her first foray into reality TV on The Real World to dating in her twenties to the honest truth about her pregnancy and motherhood—to get to know the person behind the camera. Known as the voice of reason on Southern Charm , she’ll share the same honest advice she gives to her castmates and guide y’all through dating, pregnancy, and motherhood. Charming, hilarious, and a hell of a lot fun, One Day You’ll Thank Me is for anyone who has ever wondered if they should or can follow their dreams.